Very Cautious Optimism

Today felt....wonderful.

With many guests on the agenda for the day, I was a little nervous for how the day would go.

But things started out well at morning rounds, when the doctors explained that Sam now has an ANC (absolute neutrophil count) - which is the first step on the way toward regrowing his immune system. (Before this, the count was a big fat zero. Which is where it supposed to be at the end of chemo!) Please understand that you're getting about the extent of my medical knowledge here...I'm not going to give numbers but let's say that it's still very very low, but headed in the right direction. Sam is on a couple of antibiotics but has been fever-free and all his blood cultures have come back infection-free. Can you see how I'm trying to be cautious here...but inside I might be jumping up and down. He's been on IV nutrition, but today it was decided that he would have less of it - only 18 hours a day instead of 24. Which meant - 3pm-9pm with no pole! Okay....keep breathing, mama.

Yael was delivered by two beloved friends and spent quite a bit of the day with Sam.
(Thanks, Karen, for taking her home, and thanks to Deb and Debbie for bringing her back to us and taking such good care of her at camp.)
Debbie and Alec and their adorable girls also came (totally missed the boat on a picture with them!) all the way from Jackson, Mississippi!

And then Asher came, and it was almost...normal.
I kept grinning at the other adults while trying not to show Sammy how happy I was.

Sam did not want me to take this picture. He was waiting to greet Asher while wearing his "disguise"..."you'll ruin the surprise by taking a picture!" he said.

The incredible Gruven Reuven sent Sam a major box of comic books. The boys spent a LONG time going through them, discussing them, and sharing them. Also, deciding which ones they would share with their older brothers. Thanks, Reuven!

Check out his cool shirt, thanks to Rebecca and her awesome family.

They played together, and ate together, and I almost want to give you a rundown of Sam's eating today because I was so excited for every mouthful he willingly ate...but I won't. Suffice it to say, it's not the kind of diet that's going to earn me any nutritional parenting points, but calories matter. Hooray for eating!

 At the end of the day, cousins Dan and Greg came by and Sam leaped out of bed to take them down to the play area for a little xBox...and maybe, just maybe, I went out into the (105 degree heat!) world for a little takeout Mexican and a visit to the Ronald McDonald House.

Cautious optimism.
I'm not really letting out the breath that I think I've been holding for the last 25 days.
I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel...so far I haven't really been able to see it.
So many people have told me about it. I'm using all my faith to know it is there.
But today I think I glimpsed a pinprick of our own light....