I don't want to die!
I want to grow up and marry someone!I want to learn to drive!
I want to have a Bar Mitzvah!
I want to see David be President!
I want to see Dad get old and wear diapers!
How will you live without me?
How will David and Yael and Solly live without me?
How will I live without you?
What will I do without you?
Where will I be?
Solly won't remember me.
I guess that makes him lucky, Mom.
Solly won't remember me.
I guess that makes him lucky, Mom.
Will you have another baby to take my place?
What will happen?
Will it hurt?
What if I die tonight?
Will I have to go back to the hospital?
You're going to put me in a box and put me in the ground.
I'll never get to do all the things I want to do.
Who is going to do my funeral?
I want it to have fireworks and party games. That's what I want my funeral to be.
Why did I have to get cancer when I was just a kid before I got to do things?
How do you tell your child that he's going to die?
My heart is broken into a million billion pieces.
I want to do something amazing.
Oh, Sammy. You already have.
What will happen?
Will it hurt?
What if I die tonight?
Will I have to go back to the hospital?
You're going to put me in a box and put me in the ground.
I'll never get to do all the things I want to do.
Who is going to do my funeral?
I want it to have fireworks and party games. That's what I want my funeral to be.
Why did I have to get cancer when I was just a kid before I got to do things?
How do you tell your child that he's going to die?
My heart is broken into a million billion pieces.
I want to do something amazing.
Oh, Sammy. You already have.
Keeping you all in our thoughts & prayers .....
ReplyDeleteSending all our love,
Michael, Annie, Sam, & Benji Motew
My family and I are with you in your unbearable pain
ReplyDeleteWhat pain.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is make the memories fun ones.
Love. Love and Prayers. Love and Prayers and Faith. Love and Prayers and Faith and Knowledge that you are held in the hearts of so many.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys. And praying.
ReplyDeleteWhat pain, what agony. How can a heart hurt so much? What can we say? We send our love, our prayers and our wishes for a safe and happy trip to Israel.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for all of you. Sending all of our love, prayers and thoughts to wrap around you all.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is so heavy for you all--but Sammy know you have done something amazing--you have touched the lives of so many people all over the world with your bravery and humour. You will never be forgotten. Sending you Love and Prayers and Light from England.
ReplyDeletePain, Love, gratitude for your lives and inspiration. "The first duty of life is to enjoy it and the second duty had yet to be discovered." - Oscar Wilde
ReplyDeleteWe hold you in our hearts. Sammy is an amazing little boy. We are captivated by his spirit, humor, and strength. His inspiration reaches across the globe. We send our prayers to you from Denmark.
ReplyDeleteCrying for you. How cruel it is that none of us can do anything to help with the one thing you really want. But please know - you will have hoards of people running to assist with any other wishes you have. We're here with you, as much as we can possibly be.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you. What an amazing family you are. I have followed your journey though our many mutual friends. Wishing you love and strength at this incredibly difficult time! Sending much love!
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts so much for you all. It's so so so unfair.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is broken for all of you, but perhaps most for Solly who, contrary to what AAM said, will never be fortunate enough to really know first-hand the strength and heroism of his brother.
ReplyDeleteLike Sam, I do want to see David become president.
It is truly beautiful how Sammy touched some many of our lives. We have all gone through this journey together and he will always live in every heart that he touched.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew you personally...have only heard Sam's story from my daughter EJ and her friend Ellie. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteYour family has touched so many people, people who don't even know you. Sammy will live on in so many ways. Wishing all of you love and strength as you enter the next phase of this terrible journey.
ReplyDeleteWishing you love as Shabbat enters gently this evening.
ReplyDeleteif the amount of love coming at you was enough to rid Sam of cancer, it would've been gone a long time ago. we are with you....this is so very unfair.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and Sam in my thoughts and sending you love.
ReplyDeleteYour poem today is so full of truth. Anything on that list you can do, you should. Have creative thoughts and make wishes come true. You can still learn to read torah and be a bar mitzvah. You can write or video tape messages for your siblings. Have a good laugh at something funny. Make it all count.
ReplyDeletelove this Helen! So very true! XO
DeleteThanks Jody. We were they are not so long ago. Travel, see shows, visit everyone that'd what it means to live fully and with intent.
DeleteSo, so sad. And so wishing I reached out when things were good so that, in some small way, I could help to hold you up now. Thoughts and prayers are headed your way from the Cleveland area and we are holding Sam in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteTears, pain, prayers, love. We are connected by mutual friends and our GUCI past (we met, Phyllis, at Biennial in SD in 2007); but now we are connected by so much more, as you all are to the many people who follow your journey and send you every bit of strength, love, and healing possible. My teenager wears her hoodie proudly; we are sending you one of her legendary hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am new to this blog,and my heart is filled with love and warmth for sammy. sending you hugs all the way from Israel. you are in our tefillot.
ReplyDeleteThere are just no words, only tears. I know that at some moments we just need to cry each other, hug each other, and live when we still can. I am just so, so sorry.
ReplyDeleteSitting at my desk weeping.
ReplyDeleteI want all of those things for you too, Sam. We all do. Especially your mom and dad.
You're an incredible kid and I feel blessed to know you, even just through this blog.
i am so, so sorry. love and courage to you all.
ReplyDeleteSending love and prayers from someone who doesn't know you - yet feels very connected through so many connected facebook friends. Sam's story and your journey is overwhelming. I am in awe of your strength and courage. Love to Sam from our whole family up in Toronto...Karen Kollins
ReplyDeletewould that all our tears could change things. This is a path no one should have to take. If it means anything at all, Sammy, please know that you have made an impact on all of us, forever, even if you don't know who we all are.
ReplyDeleteI'll steal from Karen K. Sending love and prayers from someone who doesn't know you - yet feels very connected through my sister and bro-in-law. And through our humanity. Love and prayers, love and prayers, love and prayers, love and prayers, love and prayers, love and more love and more love and more love and more prayers from your team over here in Cleveland.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your courage. At this time when your first instinct is to draw inward and isolate, you've taken upon yourself to share your pain. Blogging will help - now it serves to sort out thoughts and feelings and later it will be a remembrance.
ReplyDeleteI pray that the support you all receive helps in some small way to lessen your burden. That the pain all of us share upon reading your words will somehow help to diminish yours, (but I know that isn't true.)
Your words fortify the world. To those of us insulated from such great pain, a taste of it helps us to remember our gratitude for all we have. For those of us who have troubles, it puts things into perspective. And for those of us who have endured similar, it stands to re-affirm faith and human greatness to have been through the fire and emerge on the other side.
May G-d grant you all peace.
It's so cruel that Sam's time here will be so short. I know he will live on in memories, and I know that in the meantime, his days will be filled with lots of love. He and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMany of the children (and teachers) here at Temple B'rith Kodesh in Rochester NY will come to Religious School this weekend wearing superhero shirts. We'll sing Debbie's Mi Shebeirach, we'll send you the photos...and our hearts and prayers will be with your family. We hope you can draw strength from the power of love.
ReplyDeleteSam you are and always will be a Super Angel! A beautiful gift from g-d and a gift to g-d.
ReplyDeleteLove surrounds you.
Love Lisa, Nina and Juno ( Annie Persins family) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Have you ever seen a shooting star, Sam? It's wonderful. It passes quickly, but while it's here it just lights up the whole sky - it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see. So beautiful that the other stars stop and watch. You almost never see one, because they're very rare. Quite rare. You're a shooting star, Sam. And so many of us have gotten to see.
ReplyDeletesending {{{hugs}}} and prayers for strength to an amazing child and his amazing parents and siblings.
ReplyDeleteDear Sam,
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave individual - and you have shared all of the gifts that you have with your family and with the world. For that we are all grateful. I wish that we could give you back in full measure for what you have given. It is not fair that you have cancer. I wish there was a way to fix this, but there seems not to be one yet. If there ever is, you have helped to find it. B'hatzl'chah, brave soul. You (and your potential) will be missed.
I am so thankful that hearts keep loving, even when they are broken. So much love to all of you from my - and all of our- broken hearts.
ReplyDeleteSam, I promise to make sure that there are fireworks and party games in your honor in lots of places. I'm starting with the Ronald McDonald House here in the Twin Cities - with the games, I'm not sure if they allow fireworks. 25 of them. Fun ones. Some role playing ones. Some science ones. Some silly ones.
I hear you. I'm older. 30 years older. And I don't want to die, either. It sucks, sucks, sucks that you are going to die while you are a kid. We don't know, we never know while we are alive, the answers to most of the questions we have about death. I've thought about death a lot during my journey with AML and BMT. Right now, I don't have cancer in my body. I hate that you do. And I don't llike that I'm 30 years older than you and can't answer your questions, but I do love you. And I do love that we can tell you we love you. And I do love that even though we can't fix it - and I hope you believe that we all - every. single. one. of. us. want to be able to fix it - we can love you so so so so so so so so so much. And we can love your family. We all want more than that - but I am thankful that we have that. And I am glad we can be so sad and so thankful and so loving all at the same time. A little over 8 years ago the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD was just waiting for you to arrive. We knew we couldn't go on a single moment more without you here in this world. The world - the whole world - our world - my world - it's all different and more and better because you are here. You are amazing, but for all the things I don't know, I do know this - what really matters is that you are you. Sam. Sam is what the world needs. You are really good at being Sam. Yesher koach, kid. And so, so, so much love.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI noticed when people post links from this blog to Facebook it says that you read comments to Sam, so please let him know how many people have been touched and inspired by him. It's heartbreaking to us all that even great doctors, so much love, hope and many prayers, many prayers, not to mention positive attitudes, were no match for the ninja cancer. But I believe in Sam's superpowers and I think there are other things they can do. It's his call. Does he want us to send games to children's hospital? Donate to a special fund to help research childhood cancers? Send him postcards or post pictures of us on a Facebook page doing something silly? This might be too much to ask at such a difficult time, but Sam does have super powers and I hope he gets to see them in action again.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you all and keeping Sam in my prayers....sending lots of love your way...
ReplyDeleteSam and family,
ReplyDeleteI have never met you and probably never will but I now and feel your pain. My sister had cancer when she was a child as well. I helped her with treatment and cried and took on the burden as a caregiver. The pain never goes away nor does the love and light that you bring to this planet. Your story and the story of other children who suffer make the rest of us fight harder and to appreciate life all the more. I would love to do what I can to make your time remaining together all the more special. I want him to see those fireworks just for him. I don't even know where you live other than that he has been treated here in Milwaukee. The Make a Wish said they don't have you on the radar here in WI so if I can help or if you will let me help lets get his party started! Please feel free to contact me at lovetopamperyou at g mail .com. I am mad that the ninja cancer just won't leave one little boy alone and pray that someday we will know how to disable the ninja squad. Until then I hope and pray for you. Alternative treatments like Essiac saved my friend so never give up hope.
That is so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. I am keeping your family in my thoughts. I am wishing for a miracle for you all.
ReplyDeleteWe have never met but I have been praying for you and your family and following your journey ever since my URJ camp prayed for your Superman Sam at our shabbat services. My heart aches for you all- wishing you all the strength in the world. May the love you have for one another carry you through all your days and beyond. Wishing for a miracle. Prayers from Boston
ReplyDeleteYour Superman Sam truly is a gift from G-D and has made all the difference and touched so many lives
DeleteWe don't know each other, but I too live in HP, and we have some mutual friends. My heart breaks for Sam and for your entire family. I have been following your journey for some time, and have been especially touched and inspired by Sam's strength and bravery and your incredible warmth and courage, even while enduring unimaginable pain.
ReplyDeleteI know I echo everyone's sentiments in these comments when I say that Sam (and your entire family) has made an amazing impact on the world and that he will not be forgotten, even by those of us who have never even met him! I think about him all the time, and have told many others about his journey and what a brave soul he is.
It is maddening that there is so little any of us can do for you or for Sam, but please know that even those of us who don't know you are holding you and surrounding you with love, prayers, continued strength, the hope of more good days than bad, and wonderful memories to sustain you into the future.
May this be a peaceful Shabbat for all of you.
Oh, those are words a mother or father should never have to hear, a conversation a child should never have to have, realities no family should ever have to imagine.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
Dear beautiful Sammy you are such a hero. Nobody will ever forget you and the lessons you taught everyone blessed to have you in their life. I wish I knew you instead of just your story. I can promise you dear boy that nobody will forget you and that you are an inspiration. Sending so much love your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so grateful to you for sharing Sammy and his journey with us. Grateful for his fighting spirit. You and Michael and Sammy, David, Yael and Solly are brave and loving souls. My heart is broken but is with you always. Solly won't forget Sammy - none of us will. God be with you. Shabbat Shalom
ReplyDeleteSam, you have done something amazing. As an 8-year-old boy you have touched the hearts of hundreds of people around the world. You have inspired us with your strength and wisdom and reminded us to live each moment to the fullest. Thank you so much for that!
ReplyDeleteDear Sam,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are feeling a lot of things right now...but I hope superhero strength is one of them. You see, you ARE a superhero. How else could you have touched the lives of so many who don't even know you....just your story? Moms and dads are hugging their kids a little tighter and loving each other a little better, because you remind us of what's important. Thank you for inspiring so many in the life you have been given.
Sending you prayers and love and beautiful memories to share with one another...
P.S. Share a little of that superhero strength with mom and dad too....so that they may take good care of one another.
Sam, you are amazing and talented. Sending you lots of prayers, love and strength. It is true we are all holding each other tighter tonight because of YOU, spreading so much love around!
ReplyDeleteSam, you and your family have made a tremendous difference in this world. You have raised awareness and captured the hearts of thousands around the world. I battled cancer and I have made it my goal to make sure no one faces it alone and that one day we will have a cure. You have made a difference! We pray daily for you and your family. Know that you are surrounded by so much love always!
ReplyDeleteDear Sam
ReplyDeleteYou truly have done great things... mitzvahs too numerous to mention and you are a mensch. You have accomplished more with dignity and grace through tragedy than many grown ups. I think you should get to have a Bar Mitzvah as you have already proven your worthiness and readiness..
You are a blessing and your story has brought people together to love and support you and your family. You are amazing..
Hugs, love, and prayers
Tj
Dear Sam, (I have a cat named Sam- now I will always think of you!)
ReplyDeleteAwhile ago my Rabbi, Rabbi Dreyfus, asked us to wear a Superman tee-shirt and get our pictures taken for boy who was ill and loved Super heroes. Many of us sitting in that room, including me, took a picture. Now I see who you are, and really know your story. And now I know for real, you are MY super hero. You are, and will always be, a light onto the rest of us, and a blessing to the world. You are in my heart, always.
Sending you hugs, kisses, and warm prayers. Such courage, love and support within a very special family - each one of you is a Superhero, with sweet Sam as our life teacher, reminding us to never sweat the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo many, many of us are thinking about you all the time.
Much love,
anne
Oh Sam, you ARE such a superhero.
ReplyDeleteWe have never met (I wish we had!) but since I have read your story on this blog I am thinking of you constantly and I know I’m going to be thinking about you for a very, very long time.
You are such a courageous kid. I’ve got about a fifty year head start on you but I don’t think I’ve ever shown the sort of courage you have. But then again, I haven’t really been put to that test. I’m so sorry that you have had to face such a cruddy thing as cancer. Nobody should have to. It really isn’t fair.
You know that being courageous doesn’t mean you can't also be scared, right? Courage is about knowing it’s okay to be scared but going ahead anyways. You’ve had plenty of reasons in the last few years to be afraid, but I know from reading about you that you’ve faced your treatments with plenty of courage. Everyone who knows about you is going to have a little bit more courage because they’ve seen what you’ve done. We all want to borrow from time to time a little bit of Superhero Sam’s strength for ourselves.
I live hundreds of miles from you and you are making such a difference in my life. You are spreading love and wonder to so many people, who hold you and your family close in their hearts. What a Superhero you are to so many people. Thank you for being such an amazing guy.
Sending you love and strength.
ReplyDeleteThe Katchman Family sends their thoughts and prayers to Sam!!!!
ReplyDeleteHolding you in my heart. Prayers.
ReplyDeleteSending you all so much love. From the very first moment I met the Sommer family, I knew how precious you all are and have treasured the ways you've been there for me. Hold each other close and in the time ahead, we will all continue to hold you.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and Sam in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteWe have never met. I started reading this blog as I participated in BlogElul. You have done more with your life, Sam, that many people do in so many more years. You and your parents have shared a journey that has taught us so much about faith, family, love, honesty and bravery. More people than you can even imagine are sending wishes and prayers to you. You will take the love with you and we are honored to have your story with us.
ReplyDeleteHoping that Hashem has some wonderful hard for us to even comprehend plans for your Superman Sam. His life continues to be a gift you so magnanimously and unflinchingly share with us. We are collectively lifting you up with our tefilot.
ReplyDeleteThis is devastating. I am so sorry. Thank G-d Sammy has you.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing family! You are all a model of courage and grace in the face of devastating loss.
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteWishing for a miracle for you! You are a strong guy.
ReplyDeleteYour son sounds like a very special little guy. He's made an impact on so many people already. I'm new to your blog and can't stop thinking about what you're going through. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me but I learned of you through Raizy Bee. I lost my son Caleb recently but we did not go through telling him he was going to die - we thought there was still hope, and then he died suddenly. I treasure that we spent his last weeks showering him with love. I am glad you will get to do the same but also amazed by your strength and courage that you must all go through this, the knowing. I pray that your trip brings some joy and peace and love to you all. I know you must be in agonizing pain and my heart goes out to you. I don't even know what to say, really, just want to be another voice out there sending you love through this journey.
ReplyDeleteI am Melissa Bellow's mom. I don't think we have actually met but I know and love your family through Adam and Melissa and your blog. Sam, you are and will always represent Superman to me! No child should have to go through all you have been through and yet, most pictures I see you have a smile on your beautiful punim. Please know your entire family has touched so many lives with your honesty, your passion, and your courage. From near and far we hold you in our hearts and prayers. The enormous love and fears we have for our children is something we can all relate to. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteSammy, I'm so proud of you and how strong you are. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about you. You will always have a special place in my heart. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I love you and miss you every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of the family. Sending my love your way.. Miss you so much. This news is so devastating and I'm so upset. I'm so glad I am able to be apart of your life on a personal level. I will never forget about you and how silly you are. Babysitting you, David, Yael, and Solly was the most fun I have ever had in my experience in babysitting. You mean so much to me Sammy. I love you. Giving you tons of hugs.
ReplyDeleteDear Sam and family,
ReplyDeletelife is so unfair sometimes. How young you are and how much pain you have suffered in your brief moment here on earth. I only hope that you do not fear what comes but that you and your family use your strength to celebrate the joy that you have together. There are some things we cannot control and although that may make us angry, we mustn't allow that anger to control us. Enjoy every moment, every laugh, every tear, every breath that you can. May Gd grant your family Gd's most precious gift of peace. Sending you all my love.
אפילו חרב חדה מונחת על צווארו של אדם אל ימנע עצמו מן הרחמים
ReplyDeleteI wish I had any useful words to offer. This post has left me in tears so I can't even begin to imagine what it was like to live it and write it. It's not fair, it's not right, and I'm so very, very sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat a truly amazing person Sam is, and his family too. You are all in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful boy. We are thinking of all of you. The Berns Family.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam - you don't know me exactly - I'm one of the zillions of people all over the country who have gotten to know you because of your mom's online blog. ?Today, I donated money to a group that helps kids who are really sick because of cancer. When people give money , they do it in honor of someone and I did it to honor YOU. So, now your nickname, Superman Sam, is written on a card that is on the wall of a frozen yogurt store in Akron Ohio! Maybe your parents can point that out on a map! Because of you, I did a mitzvah - Sam, that is amazing. You are inspiring people to do mitzvahs - and most people go their whole lives and never, ever do that. Sincerely, Your grownup friend, Mrs. Lipkin.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words that can express the way your openness and generosity has allowed us to walk beside you during this time. According to the reports, Sam has walked into the next journey, into the light. Nothing eases this pain. No words. No touch. No action. I send all of my love and energy to you. Not to ease the pain you endure but to give you the strength to face another day, and to continue to love and laugh and LIVE for each other and for your other children.
ReplyDelete