Monday, December 8, 2014

Etched

This is the picture Yael drew last week:

I didn't know what to do.

Tears sprang to my eyes.
I try so hard not to scare her, or shame her, or force grief upon her.

"Where's Sammy?" I asked quietly.

"Oh....I just drew the people who are alive," she said.

It's inevitable, isn't it? There will be photographs taken without him.
Drawings of our family that don't have Sammy in them.
Events that he doesn't attend....

And then today, I was explaining to Solly and Yael that I was putting a toy away to save for their kids. "My first kid will be named Sam...or Samantha if it's a girl," Yael announced, with a sad smile.

"Cuz that was my brother's name!" Solly replied.

He's etched into our hearts.
With gratitude to Diamond Event Group Photography

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8 comments:

  1. rochelDecember 8, 2014 at 8:13 AM

    It must have been hard to see a pic. without sam, but this is the way the children view things from their perspective,they can speak about the situation so openly which is so healthy.

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  2. micheleDecember 8, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    Words escape me. Just know a lot of people you don't personally know think about you and Sammy often.

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    Replies
    1. SarahDDecember 8, 2014 at 10:54 AM

      For sure! So many and so often!

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    2. AnonymousDecember 8, 2014 at 9:53 PM

      Indeed, thinking of you and Sammy, often.

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    3. JenniferDecember 8, 2014 at 10:38 PM

      Agreed, on both accounts. I caught my breath when I saw the picture and immediately imagined your pain. And I knew the concern and sensitivity you'd show for Yael. You are an inspiration. And you are in so many thoughts and prayers.

      Delete
  3. AmyDecember 8, 2014 at 9:00 AM

    Always four. Sending love.

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  4. MIGUELDecember 8, 2014 at 8:27 PM

    drawn in my heart, my heart etched in his, if I can dare say that

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  5. Seth&Julia'sBubbeDecember 11, 2014 at 12:47 PM

    The new reality is just that. New and reality. Your lovely, inciteful daughter has regularly paid tribute to her brother. Her actions, such as being Sammy for Halloween to me allows her to express her loss (this is what I have lost, this is my brother Sammy). She also depicts the here and now in her art, her family today. In her picture she allows her family to be happy - everyone is smiling. Although she seems to have a very good grasp on her grief process, this must bring up feelings and emotions that are all over the map. Please remember to treat yourself with kindness,patience and love.

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