Pouring

I was driving today, wearing sunglasses.
Because the sun was shining.

And then suddenly, it started to rain.
Pour, actually.

But the sun was still shining.
Brightly.

I looked around, thinking that if I tried hard enough, I would find a rainbow.

But I didn't.
And then the rain stopped.
The sun shone.

Sometimes that is how I feel.
The sun can be shining.
And without warning, a monsoon pours down upon me.
I am overwhelmed with grief.

I want to find a rainbow, to imagine that it's going to end.
The rain stops, but sometimes the rainbow doesn't show its face.

Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed with the realization that I'm never going to wake up and find Sam here.

I hope for the rainbow. For the light and love and blessing.

Sometimes it hides its face.

A year ago: Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and Honesty
Two years ago: Out the Window (yes, we saw a rainbow two years ago today!)
Three years ago: Quiet Shabbat
Five years ago: Differences of Opinion