It was the last day of Chanukah. At some point I wrote all the + days on our calendar and I knew that today, day +100, would fall on the last day of the holiday. I thought it was a good sign.
One hundred days is a transplant milestone. Today it doesn't feel like one. It seems like a lifetime ago that we started with such hope, such readiness for a future with new life inside our son. We knew that it could be rocky. We knew that the conditions for transplant weren't "ideal." We knew what could happen.
But I don't think we believed it.
And now, 100 days...it's not the celebration that I imagined. There's no 100 Day candles or cake or donuts or ...whatever one does to celebrate a milestone like this.
But there's still this:
And for now that's what we have.
Phyllis, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Thank you for continuing to write.
ReplyDeleteLive each day; one foot in front of the other. Constantly thinking of you and praying for you.
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) looks pretty celebratory to me.
ReplyDeleteGod is in THIS moment - may the blessing of today sustain you tomorrow and beyond.
ReplyDeleteThat yellow basin so needed those stickers.
ReplyDelete"The future is a lie. There is only a constantly expanding past erupting from the burning present."
ReplyDelete100 days is a very excellent Chanukah. Let's start another, and another, one more day, one more evening and morning, one more hour, one more minute, and let the sun and moon and the stars keep time, biggest candles of all, while we are in durable praise and prayer.
ReplyDeletewishing you all the best with good feeling days, warmth and hugs. shavua tov from Israel.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy what you have. Every day is a miracle. We, too often, forget that.
ReplyDeleteThis post has been included in Shiloh Musings: Plenty to Read in This Jewish Blog Stew of Havel Havelim and Kosher Cooking Carnival.
Another person out there in the world, looking, reading, crying, praying. My heart breaks for your family. My son is gone, how I wish I could hold him and kiss him and hear his voice. I look at Sam and I am thankful for each day you have with him even as my heart breaks imagining how painful it must be to have him here and know that your time with him is limited. Sending you love and strength across the internet. <3
ReplyDeleteI hope that this Shabbat is bringing some peace, rest, and that your family is able to enjoy each other. I'm trying to treasure every moment even those when my new son is screaming incomprehensibly at 3 am because who knows how many nights we will have. Thank you for posting and for sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to you for continuing to write. You are in my thoughts constantly.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you and your family. My cousins, Sara and Molly Norton, know you from their days at UW. I have been checking in on your blog periodically, cheering, crying and laughing along with your posts. Thank you for chronicling your journey. Sending prayers your way. Michelle Anderson
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