Thursday, August 7, 2014


We dropped Yael off at camp for a short session, her first.
I couldn't help but think that if Sam were here, he would be annoyed that Yael is at camp while he is at home. Even if I reminded him that HE got to go earlier in summer, he would still be annoyed. "I still think I should get extra camp because I missed out on the other summers."

This got me thinking about other things that Sammy would find irritating:

Sam would be sending lengthy missives and artwork and packages to David at camp and receiving scribbly letters or postcards or nothing at all in return. He would find this immensely bothersome. "Why isn't he writing more letters?"

Yael's current pastime is to put on "shows" in which she uses a toy microphone to sing made-up songs. This would probably have made Sam crazy. I can hear him: "that's not really a song!"

Solly's constantly chattering about Transformers. Sam would have either found this irritating or maybe, just maybe, this one would be something that they shared and Sam would be in love.

I wish he was here to be annoyed and bothered and irritated and crazy.

I wish he was here.

Orphan. Widow. These are names that define us by those we love who have died.
There's no name for a brother or sister whose brother has died.

Just sadness.

237 days...

Where we were a year wasn't good news.

Classic Sam grumpy face

Check out that face on Sammy....Passover 2011


  1. In Hebrew you've been called a bereaved mother, and it could be used as a general noun, the bereaved.

  2. Orphan. Widow. Does the "name" to define us have to be generic? Or...DavidSam, YaelSam, SollySam? Is there a name for someone who loves a family whose child has died? MiguelSam?

  3. Beautiful, beautiful photos. Beautiful family.