We spend a lot of time in our jammies in January.
It's in these quiet, ordinary, everyday moments that I find that I miss Sam the most. When I look around the house with that soft sigh of contentment that it's warm and cozy, that we're all together, that everyone is happy ensconced in toys or books or games...and the electric shock of realization that he just isn't there jolts me out of that moment. I look around at the other kids and I wonder....what would Sam be doing right now? Would he be reading a book? Playing a game? Wearing his pajamas?
But the regular days, the everydays, the day-to-days....these are even harder. The doctor's appointments and dentist appointments and play rehearsal schedules and soccer clinics and birthday party invitations and what's for dinner and where are we going this weekend....these are the times when it hits me over and over again that I'm moving around a lot of pieces and a lot of parts and a lot of people...and yet I'm still coming up one short. Each and every time.
January is a quiet month.
It's in the quiet that I miss him the most.
(Pardon all the pictures. I couldn't choose just one January.)
|January 2008 - once a "throwaway" picture....|
|January 2009 - hanging up family pictures|
|January 2010 - looking at bugs at the museum|
|January 2010 - oh how he loved the butterflies|
|January 2011 -- oh, that face|
|January 2011 -- loving on his baby bro|
|January 2011 -- pile o' kids|
|January 2012 -- um, what!?|
|January 2013 -- my forever four|
|January 2013 - what kind of mom does this!?|