Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Magical Thinking

Sometimes it feels like Sam was just here. 
And sometimes it feels like maybe it was all a dream...

He's always on my mind, of course, in that way that all of my children are on my mind. Even if they're not with me, I have a pretty good sense of where they are all the time. (I'm fully aware this is starting to change with the teenage-stage, but that's probably for a different blog entirely.)

And Sam comes up ever-so-casually in conversation, most of the time.

Solly used to talk about him at bedtime nearly every night. "I miss Sammy," he would say in a plaintive tone.

He hasn't done that lately.
But last night, out of the blue, he said:

I really miss Sammy and I want him to appear back. 
We need some magic. 

Chase has some magic but he used it all up. 
I'm going to ask him to get some more from his mom and we can use it to make Sammy appear back. 

I sent Chase's mom a message, a transcript of this conversation.
I told her, "Apparently, Solly thinks you are very powerful."

And what she told me was a little bit surprising to me.
Remember, we're talking about four-year-olds here.

She said that her son, one of Solly's besties, talks about Sammy all the time. And when she questions Chase about it, reminding him that he never even met Sammy, he replies,

"but he's Solly's brother and I love him."

I have no idea how much Solly talks about Sam when he's at preschool. But it's clearly enough that his friend also knows and loves our Sammy. And I'm so very glad.

438 days is a LONG time for a four-year-old to do anything.
He's changed a lot in the last 438 days.

But I know one thing for certain, absolutely and completely: Solly hasn't forgotten about Sam.

And I know that Sammy would be so glad of it.

Now we have to work on explaining that not even magic could bring our Sammy back.

7 comments:

  1. Solly loves Sam so much that he made that love grow in another child's heart. If that isn't magic, I don't know what is.

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    1. Wendy, I was thinking the same thing as I read this...that is the magic. In memory, there is life.

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    2. I emphatically endorse this comment.

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    3. You said it perfectly! What a beautiful connection Solly still fells with Sammy... may he hold onto that and share it always!

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  2. Chase is not the only person who loves a little boy he never met. Thousands of them -- myself included -- read this blog. xoxo from NYC.

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  3. remember the scene in one of the Harry Potter movies, Harry enters a small tent, only to find a whole palace inside: he smiles in surprise, "I love magic!"
    that's Sammy, that's your blog, it seems a little, maybe even empty thing, but we go in and a whole world of love and life opens up, where even four-year-olds ride the mighty waves of time flowing in all directions, magic!

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  4. remember the scene in one of the Harry Potter movies when Harry enters a small tent and finds a whole palace inside? he smiles in surprise: "I love magic!" that's Sammy, that's your blog, it may seem a small, even an empty thing, but we go in and find a whole world of love and life where even four-year-olds ride the mighty waves of time in all directions--magic!

    ReplyDelete