Thursday, March 20, 2014

On the Front Steps

Sometimes I can see a landmine coming.
I can prepare.
I know something is going to be hard.
Attending a convention, for example.
Seeing people I've not seen since before Sam died.

But other times I am blindsided.
Today was one of those.

Parent-teacher conferences.

I didn't even realize that I had avoided going to the elementary school since Sam died.
It hit me as I walked up the front steps of the school.
Like a ton of bricks.

I have tried so hard to avoid being preachy, to give the "enjoy what you have" speeches.
I've thought so much about all that I have, and all that I miss.
But I would give have had one more parent-teacher conference on my docket.
Family tradition - first day of school - do you fit in your locker?
First grade
Sam and George, his Monkey in My Chair
First day of First Grade
First day of Second the hospital with Miss T.


  1. Grief is strange like that...sometimes it blindsides us when we least expect it to. I am always praying for you and your family. May God comfort you in your loss.

  2. That must have been like a kick in the kishkes.

  3. It must have been very difficult, and sad. and missing sam. wishing you continued stregnth. shabbat shalom.

  4. All those kids need more teachers; you have a Ph.D. in Sammy Studies, a never-ending education.

  5. Sending you all of the love and strength that I can. As always.