Menu planning, cooking, shopping.
I couldn't find my Passover folder.
It wasn't in the Passover box.
Then I thought back to the end of last Passover, when everything was hastily broken down as we....broke down.
And then I was able to find my folder shoved onto a high shelf, where I had dumped it in my attempt to pretend that it wasn't a holiday any more....
When I sent the email explaining how many members of my family would attend the synagogue seder, I started by typing, "the six of us," and then I had to delete those words...
I stared at the folder as I began to consider this year's menus.
I stared at it and I wondered how I would ever celebrate this holiday again...
Then I took a deep breath and wrote out some menus.
My house is unprepared.
My head is unprepared.
My heart is unprepared.
But I've still got a week to go, right?
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| In October of 2012, Sammy was craving Passover macaroons. Jody came through with a call to Manischewitz....Passover in October? |
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| April, 2012 - a Passover outing. I remember that we brought a box of matzah crackers to snack on at this park. |
It's a new kind of Passover; the "rules" have changed. Like the first Passover, you're just starting. When the moon is full, Sammy will be shining, showing us a new freedom and faith.
ReplyDeleteslowly, one day at a time. I'm sure the children will be very excited with pesach vacation, and outings, the shul seder also sounds lovely so you will be with friends, and your family.
ReplyDeleteI believe that "the six of you" will indeed be at the synagogue seder because Sammy will be with each of you in your heart and on your mind -- as he is each and every day. No matter where you are or what you're doing, he's walking right along beside you. I know, too, that doesn't make the hole in your heart or the absence in your life any smaller, but he's with you and he'll always be with you. xoxo from NYC.
ReplyDeleteI understand, I know it isn't the same, but Sammy will be there, inside you, in you heart and in your mind. My love and prayers to all of you.
ReplyDeleteYes, another "first..."
ReplyDeleteG-d will give you the strength!