The last day that I believed it was all going to be okay.
Even though I've said before that I wasn't totally sure.
That I had my doubts, as we edged nearer and nearer to total collapse in those days leading up to transplant.
I think I really did believe it all all going to be okay.
I mean, in some way or another, it would work out, right?
How could I even begin to fathom, to imagine, to understand what was about to come?
A year ago today was the last day that I woke up with any feeling of "normal," even though "normal" still involved a PICC line and a clinic visit that day.
A year ago last night was the last time I kissed Sammy goodnight believing that I would have thousands more chances to kiss him goodnight.
But I only had 33 more chances to kiss him goodnight.
From that day, one year ago, he only lived for 33 more days.
A year ago today I heard the words that flattened me.
"There's nothing more that we can do."
We can buy him some time.
We can buy a little bit of hope.
But there aren't any miracles.
A year ago today was the last day that I believed it was all going to be okay.
How can it be that it's been a year since then?
A year ago: 520 Days Since Diagnosis
Two years ago today: Things were quite the opposite (in this post, I actually had enough hope to believe that we would be able to close up shop on this blog....oh, how naive I was.)
There are still t-shirts to be had, but today is the last day for them, t-shirts created by my sweet Sam and his amazing big brother. Kids' sizes are here and adult sizes are here. Proceeds go to the St Baldrick's Foundation. Maybe someday their work will help make it so that no family will hear those horrible words, "there's nothing more that we can do." If you feel like you have enough t-shirts, you can make your donation here instead.
|PICC line dressing change 11/12/13|
|Two years ago today|