Presence

How is it that Sammy is everywhere in this place that he hardly was?
We are back in Israel, without him. But yet, he is in everything that we do.
Each place we go, we remember being here with Sam.
Or not. Tomorrow we will go to a place he's never been, and we will talk about how much he would have loved it. (Or possibly hated it....I suppose with Sammy you never really did know what you were going to get....)

How is it that I think of him with each step here?
I think of him all the time, every day, every breath. But his presence sings out to me here.
Here in this land, the one in which he barely spent a week.

Yet I dreamt of him here. Sam became a reality here. This is the place in which I met Michael, where we fell in love. This is the place where our family began. And thus, this is where my dream of Sam (and all my children) truly began. It is here that the spark was kindled. Perhaps that is why he is so very present here.

The stones of this ancient land are saturated with the tears of our people....and also the tears of my family. Our journey last year was so very hard, so very full of love and laughter and so many tears.

Israel is my second home....the place I love....a place of sweet and lovely memories. 
Even the ones that bring me tears. Even the ones that leave an empty space in my heart.

Even here, he is with me to fill my heart and soul with his presence. 
Wherever I go, I carry my Sammy with me.

Wearing my turtle at the Kotel

"Mom, did you see the Superman! We have to take a picture!"

We re-attached some googly eyes that had gone astray over the last year....

Four letters in the word "love" in both English and Hebrew. Four children in our hearts forever....