I cut things into four portions.
I think of things in fours.
I look in the backseat and there's a seat empty.
Four....it was such a nice, complete number.
Three feels so...off. Wrong?
Sam wondered if we would have another baby...to replace him.
Even if we had a hundred more babies...they couldn't replace him.
Even if we had fifty kids, we'd still always be one short.
And that's just how it's always going to be...
A hole in our lives.
And I'm learning that I don't want to fill the hole.
I don't want to cover it up, or move away from it.
I know I just have to carefully work around it, live with it, notice it, sometimes climb inside it.
Four is a beautiful number.
|The first picture I ever got of the Fearsome Foursome|
|Purim, 2013 (Solly refused to wear his Scarecrow costume, but you get the idea)|
|The last picture that I ever took of the four of them...December 4, 2013|