Remember how I said I can't stop time?
I still haven't figured that magic out, by the way.
But I had managed to avoid it a little. Denial...in the form of calendar rebellion.
You see, I'm a digital gal. Except for the one big paper calendar that hangs in the kitchen. It even went with us to RonMac, it was one of the things that helped me to feel like we were creating a home there. Home is where you hang your calendar, right?
The calendar in the kitchen was, of course, on December.
I kept lifting December to write on January. I kept lifting it to glance at January's schedule. I knew January was coming. I did. I really did.
I just wasn't ready to turn the page.
I wasn't ready to turn the page on Sammy's last month.
I wasn't ready to step into January.
In my kitchen, maybe, it could just stay December a little longer.
But today my mom came over. And to her, it was just a calendar that needed to be changed. So she did.
And as she was doing it, I thought to protest. But how could I? She was right. It needed to be changed. It was just a piece of paper. Not a symbol. And that's ok.
It was time....
I still miss December.