Me n'Sammy

Me n'Sammy are gonna go to school.
Me n'Sammy like that movie.
Me n'Sammy are gonna share that cookie when he comes back.
Me n'Sammy want to listen to that song. Me n'Sammy like that song.

All day long, I hear about Me n'Sammy. The me, of course, is Solly. And grammar notwithstanding, he certainly thinks about his big brother all the time.

Some days I think that my story is now more about Solly's grieving experience than my own. Because so much of my own is viewed through his little eyes.

One of Sammy's favorite songs was this one, Home.
It always made me a little teary-eyed to hear him sing along with the words:

Settle down, it will all be clear.
Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear.
The trouble it might drag you down,
if you get lost, you can always be found.
Just know you're not alone,
cuz I'm gonna make this place your home.

Solly loves to listen to this song too.
Lately, he's taken to asking me what the words me.
"What is lost?"
"What is found?"
"What is alone?"

I don't know how he made the jump in his little brain (oh, how I wish I understood what goes on in there!) but this week the next question was:

"Is Sammy alone?"
"Are there people around him?"
"Is it warm where he is?"

Oh, Solly. These questions are so very very very hard....

It's so hard for Solly to imagine that Sammy is all by himself.
Solly NEVER wants to be by himself. Sam didn't, either.
Their similarities sometimes make me catch my breath.

No, he's not alone.
He's with YOU, Solly. All the time.
He's with me.
He's with all of us.
In our hearts...