The truth is, when the nurse and then the doctor told me we could take Sam home yesterday I was like, "You want me to what? What was the middle part again?" I was happy, worried, sad that I had to miss dinner with some friends from camp and petrified...I was petrified because I knew I had to somehow carefully dismantle Sam's entire room and pack weeks worth of stuff in a few hours. Hundreds of photos, posters and letters had to be removed from the Wall-O-Sam and preserved for Sam to look through on the other end of this long road.
The pictures piled up on the bed one by one, so many smiles and superheroes cheering for this day.
Smiles and balloons and Angry Birds!
Until there were none. Returned to its original state, a room waiting to be filled with fear, tears and sadness before it can be filled with hope. Empty, the room waits for the next family to fill it with the next child who needs it. My hope is someday these rooms stand empty, a day where all our prayers are answered. If that day isn't possible then I wish for a time when families are in and out so quickly they only need be admitted for a day or so before their lives are turned back to normal. I don't wish this room on anyone. But I do wish all families had such an incredible support group as we have. I know our nurses and doctors loved Sam with all their ability to make him comfortable and give him the best treatment and care. Their smiles, laughter and training brought Sam and us through the worst month of our life.
I wish we could be there for any family that needed us to fill these walls with love, hope and prayer whenever our Bat Signal or Spidey senses went off. All the hope, prayers, love, cards, pictures and posters gave me the strength to look each day in the eye and count all the blessings that filled our every day even when Sam was feeling his worst.
So our initial time has been served. The joy that fills my heart knows no bounds. Sammy is joyously taking in being home, seeing his family and friends, eating the foods he loves and sleeping in his own bed. Thank you all for taking this journey with us and filling our lives with such incredible prayers and love.
People have asked us - what's next? So a quick run-down of answers:
1. What's the time frame?
We don't have all the answers but for sure we will go back to the hospital for the second round of chemo. When I mentioned to the nurse that they might just forget about us....she laughed and told me that isn't possible. Oh well. We will probably be back in the hospital sometime around next weekend for another full month. (And then we'll lather, rinse, repeat...)
2. What if we want to send Sam mail? What if we already sent something to the hospital?
We asked them to hold any mail that was sent to Sam. Hopefully they will do so! If something gets returned to sender - we are sorry! If you are planning to send Sam mail, please wait! We will let you know when we go back to the hospital and you can send it then. Sam loves all the mail so thank you thank you thank you!
3. Is he allowed to do "normal stuff"?
We are very excited that he is allowed to do a lot of what he likes to do. No swimming, thanks to the central line, and he is very sensitive to sunlight. Other than that, we have a lot of clearance. He's so excited to go to the movies and eat his favorite stuff.
Thank you for all the love. My heart is so full....