Friday, June 9, 2017

Here we are

When you a kid, you can't imagine that you have to do "real" stuff on important days like your birthday. You want to skip school, and you don't always understand that sometimes the rest of the world doesn't stop when you want to be having fun.

And then when you're a grownup, you have do things like go to work on your birthday and even sometimes things that you don't want to do. It's just how it goes, right?

Today is June 9, a day that I would like to spend under the covers in bed. It's the real beginning, the first time we heard the word "oncology" in relation to our child. It's the day that will, for our family, live in infamy.

And today the sun came up. The sky is blue.
It's the last day of school.
There are pancakes to make and phone calls to answer.

I'm not under the covers.

Today would have been Sam's Fifth Grade Graduation. The end of his elementary school years.
I can almost imagine the blog post I would have written about the poetry, the bookending, of this day falling on June 9th. I can almost imagine how tall and sturdy he would have been and how those hugs would have felt.

I'm not under the covers, even though I want to be.

So instead we are going to the graduation ceremony. To see Yael play the violin (it's not much to hear yet but it's cute to watch, let's be honest) and to celebrate with our friends. There will be an award in Sam's name.

The sun came up today.
The world continues to spin.
Here we are.

It will never feel quite right.

Which one would have been his chair?
His Kindergarten "graduation"
Where we've been in June...
2016: More
2015: June, Again
2014: The Bean Room
2013: One Year Later
2012: The Beginning