Friday, May 9, 2014

Me n'Sammy

Me n'Sammy are gonna go to school.
Me n'Sammy like that movie.
Me n'Sammy are gonna share that cookie when he comes back.
Me n'Sammy want to listen to that song. Me n'Sammy like that song.

All day long, I hear about Me n'Sammy. The me, of course, is Solly. And grammar notwithstanding, he certainly thinks about his big brother all the time.

Some days I think that my story is now more about Solly's grieving experience than my own. Because so much of my own is viewed through his little eyes.

One of Sammy's favorite songs was this one, Home.
It always made me a little teary-eyed to hear him sing along with the words:

Settle down, it will all be clear.
Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear.
The trouble it might drag you down,
if you get lost, you can always be found.
Just know you're not alone,
cuz I'm gonna make this place your home.

Solly loves to listen to this song too.
Lately, he's taken to asking me what the words me.
"What is lost?"
"What is found?"
"What is alone?"

I don't know how he made the jump in his little brain (oh, how I wish I understood what goes on in there!) but this week the next question was:

"Is Sammy alone?"
"Are there people around him?"
"Is it warm where he is?"

Oh, Solly. These questions are so very very very hard....

It's so hard for Solly to imagine that Sammy is all by himself.
Solly NEVER wants to be by himself. Sam didn't, either.
Their similarities sometimes make me catch my breath.

No, he's not alone.
He's with YOU, Solly. All the time.
He's with me.
He's with all of us.
In our hearts...


  1. Still here reading with you. Still here crying with you. (Hugs)

  2. Solly will always remember him.

  3. Me, too! And Jeremiah, who sang a similar song: "I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back" (29:11-13).

  4. Your little Solly has a soul that is loving and deep. He asks the most meaningful questions. Bless his heart for all the love he feels for Sam and that he knows Sam returns to him. I am so moved by this. Thank you for sharing.