Tuesday, June 9, 2015

June, Again

June is the beginning of summer.
June is moving onto the next grade and saying goodbye to teachers and packing up the locker.
June is popsicles on the porch and the sandbox open and the hoses spraying.
June is finding the sandals and hats and sunscreen.
June is stretching your bike legs and packing for camp.
June is camp.

And yet, June is the beginning of our ill-fated odyssey with Sam.
June 9th, 2012, the day that we took him to the ER, the first time that the word "oncologist" was spoken in the same breath as our child's name.
June 2012 was spent in learning to navigate Cancerland and figure out where we all fit in. June was schedules and plums and heartbreak.

June is every day a different memory.
June was the month we spent, in 2013, working out a new plan, into uncharted waters, with unfamiliar protocols and uncertain results, and yet filled with joy and love and togetherness.

And last year, June was remembering and thinking about alternatives. June was second-guessing everything. And June was ice cream and graduations and even one crazy trip to the ER.

And here we are again, June. Missing Sammy so much as we transition into the next season, as we start the next part of the year. Packing up the kids for camp, wishing SO HARD that there were three big duffel bags filled with shorts and tshirts and funky knee socks and old towels. (And wondering how much MORE irritated Solly would be, to be left behind by THREE older siblings instead of two.)

Swimming through the sea of memories each and every day....
June 2006
June 2007
June 2008
June 2009
June 2010

June 2011 (Preschool graduation)
June 2012 (days before diagnosis)
June 2013


  1. sending you much love and warmth. It must be so hard. keep those sweet memories close to you.

  2. Hold tight to all those memories...even though it hurts. xoxo from NYC.

  3. in uncharted waters again, the future, wherever Sammy may be taking us, re-making us

  4. Still reading.
    Sending love and warm wishes to you and your family.