Thursday, September 1, 2016

Hard Days

Today's a hard day.

The first day of school has come and gone. Solly started kindergarten, by the way.
Today must be a hard day for you.

Sammy's bone marrow birthday has passed by.
I know it's a hard day.

It's the first of September, the beginning of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.
The whole month is pretty hard.

It's a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday...
Today is a hard day.

That's just it. They're all hard days.

Last night, Solly cried. "I miss Sammy," he wailed.
As we snuggled together in bed, he asked me, "how many pictures of Sammy do we have?"
"A lot," I said. "Hundreds." Never enough.
"I need one."

I'm learning, every day, new hard parts. Solly was so young when Sam died. Such a baby. Now he's a big kindergartener with new experiences and new ideas and new realizations. It's almost like he's re-learning how to experience grief as he gains a bigger understanding of the world. I didn't know that we would be starting anew each time.

Today is a hard day.
Tomorrow will be hard too.
Forever missing our boy....
First day of first grade for Sam, fifth for David
There should be THREE kids in this picture.
First day of school. There should be FOUR in this picture.
Where we were....
2012...Quiet Shabbat (chemo round 3)
2007...Out of the Shadow (David's first day of Kindergarten!)

You can still donate to St Baldricks in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Let's end hard days for other families....