Saturday, December 6, 2014

The Last Ones

After a lot of thought, I finished all of the photo books from 2013.

The one of our Israel trip, through Thanksgiving of last year.

And then there was a book for all of December.

Yes, one book. For all of December. It was so hard to make. I included excerpts from our blog, a copy of Sammy's obituary, and photos of many of the condolence notes we received. So many notes and cards...I couldn't think of another way to preserve them, so I took pictures. (I'm sure you're not shocked.)

"Solly's not going to remember me," Sammy worried.

I know we won't page through this book on a regular basis. But whenever we want to, we can revisit that terrible month. Even the hardest parts. Solly will remember, of that I am certain. And when he is ready, he will be able to look at the pictures to help him hold onto those memories....

I included the hardest and saddest pictures -- the last ones that were ever taken of our Sammy.

The last ones.

It's such a horrible know that there will never ever ever be another photograph of him, that his physical self is just...gone. Buried in the earth, a shell of his soul and spirit.

I thought this would be the hardest photo book I ever had to make.

But I think I was wrong.
Because now I have to continue on, and make the books from 2014.
Books that don't have new pictures of Sammy.

I think that will be even harder.


  1. hugs to you, phyllis.

    the painted stones are beautiful.

  2. your words continue to touch the soul. sending strength as you all move from day to day.

  3. לעילוי נשמתו
    Li'ilu'i nishmato

  4. Thank you for your generosity in sharing your beautiful boy with us. I can't tell you how much it means to me.

  5. may sammy's memory be for a blessing.

  6. So painful. I've included this post in this week's Haveil Havalim: The Vayishlach Venture, a roundup of the best of the Jewish blog world. May his memory and your thoughtful reflections keep on helping others.

  7. My heart aches for you. Much love to you, and your beautiful family.

  8. "our Sammy"--a beautiful phrase, a forever phrase