Thursday, December 4, 2014


Did I tell you that Yael dressed up like Sammy for Halloween?

Yep. She did that.

It's not how she started -- she went to school dressed as a Power Ranger. Solly decided that he and Yael should both be Power Rangers and she went along with it. Solly also announced which Power Ranger Sammy would be. I nearly bought him a costume, Solly was so convincing.

But she came home from school and abandoned her pink costume.

She greeted me at the door.
"I'm dressed like Sammy!" she proudly announced.
"These are Sammy's pants and his sweatshirt and his hat!"

How does a mama say no?

She even made his faces.

This picture actually scares me a little bit -- how very much like him she looks. 

I catch my breath when she looks and acts just like him.

Now she's missing another tooth.
Time goes by.
Teeth fall out.
Hair gets cut.
Kids outgrow clothing.

And along the way we remember him.
We hold him close to our hearts.
But he won't ever wear another Halloween costume, or lose a tooth, or get his hair cut or outgrow another pair of pants....sometimes I think it is unfair to the other kids that each of their milestones is colored in my mind by his missing piece. I don't tell them that I think about him with each of their milestones, at least not all the time.

And then I realize that they are thinking of him too.
I told her that Sammy would NOT have worn a pink scarf....


  1. Thank you so much for your blog. It is just beautiful.

  2. In memory, there is life. Thank you for continuing to share your world with us.

  3. I am so amazed how your kids are so open and with healthy spirit, talking about sammy ,dressing up like him , speaking so openly. It is so healthy and they obviously feel comfortable,that they want the family to include him and his memory in your daily living. It is because of you that they are able to be so open with their emotions. may you only have sweet memories of sammy and continued fun family times. shabbat shalom.

  4. Oh my goodness -- this takes my breath away.

    And making his faces! I'm amazed by how alike they look. Though of course it makes perfect sense. It's beautiful.

    Good Shabbos to you and yours.

  5. I was thinking the same thing regarding the scarf, and probably her hip out with her hand on it. What a loving way to remember him-and such child-like simplicity. Beautiful kids you have there, Phyl, inside and out.

  6. I think it is a tribute to you and your husband that Yael feels comfortable being Sammy for Halloween. And that Solly knew which Power Ranger Sammy should be. Bittersweet memories but you must be so proud that the children do not fear talking about their brother.

  7. I'm dressed like Sammy, too, at least inside…thank you.